Single Moms on Father's Day

Dear Single Moms,

Father's Day is not about you! Its not about you pulling double duty or having to pick up the slack. I use to buy into the "But I have to be Mom and Dad", but do I really need to consider myself as both parents? I can't think of a single thing that my boys' fathers could have taught them that I couldn't as their mother, some things were trickier, like standing to pee and puberty. As a single mom I am enough.
I am enough to show my children how to treat a lady by the way I allow or do not allow any man to speak or treat me. I taught them what being a man was, as well as their absent fathers inadvertently taught them how a man does not act. I have taught them to work hard and take responsibility for their actions
I am enough to have taught them to respect people, to be fair, to actually listen to other people, see different points of view (if if they don't agree with them), to stand up for what they believe in. To never shake hands while sitting down, and that a handshake should be firm and to look into the persons's eyes.  I taught them what our family's values and a love for God.
As a women who is not physically coordinated when it comes to sports, I did teach them well enough to get by with throwing a ball, playing catch, 2-hand touch football. I sat through Superbowl games and attended Piston games. I've learned the rules and practiced the sports they were involved in. I have roughhoused with them and wrestled with them. When they were younger I tossed them "too high" in the air.
They have taught me how to play their favorite video games and I'm pretty good at shooting aliens now. I have taught them to encourage others and how to be a good loser.
I have listened to borderline inappropriate jokes, taught them how to belch, how to burp the alphabet. I have congratulated them on loud or extremely smelly farts.
I taught them how to build a bonfire and how to barbecue, I taught them to appreciate nature, to look for bugs, how to proper pick up a snake, and how to fish.
I have worked side by side with them on woodworking projects, gardening, and miscellaneous manual labor actives. I have taught them home repairs, how to put a chain back on their bike.
I have encourages them to be fearless and take a chance, to push themselves just a little bit further then they thought they could go.
I have gotten on them about grades. I've dealt with the misbehavior and followed through with discipline.
I have told them countless times "atta boy", "I'm proud of you", and "I love you"
I have done exactly the same thing I would do if their fathers were involved, because I am their mother and that's what I do.
Don't include yourself in Father's Day because you are a mother doing just what a mother does. Its not double duty, its just taking care of your responsibilities; raising children doesn't split responsibilities between parents,

*Father's Day also isn't a day to call out the "dead beats", if they're not involved blasting them on social media isn't going to make them suddenly step up. You're kiddos have (or will learn) who is there for them when they need someone.
If you feel the need to blast something on social media, shout out to all male role models who have been in your child's life- even if they played a small role.

So Many New Schools

Anyone still there?!?! I can't believe its been over a year since I lost wrote a blog post!!! A lot has happened in the last 2 or so years, I'm not even sure where to begin. If you have been following our Facebook page you may have glimpsed a bit of what we've been doing.

Jordan completed half a year at his high school, then we tried online school for the remainder of his freshmen year. He was excelling with the online courses, the school we were participating through offered to pay for him to continue with the online courses through a private institution. The new curriculum really challenged him and he began struggling with a few of his classes. Jordan felt he would like to return a brick and mortar school and returned to the charter school his Junior year. Halfway through the school year we were presented with a much awaited opportunity that meant another school change. Jordan would be attending the same high school I did when I was younger, having to be "the new kid" at the beginning of second semester. Then there were a few hiccups with figuring out his schedule and current grades for his classes seems the charter school operated on trimester rather than semesters. He will be finishing his senior year this year. He's experimenting with a new class that embraces a hidden talent/interest of his, choir, which he is really enjoying.

New grade, new name; Joey decided he would now be called Joe because he was no longer a little kid, mow being in middle school. It took Joe awhile to accumulate to middle school with the changing of classes and a greater part of the responsibility for his schoolwork resting upon his own shoulders. He was off to a very bumpy start, having very much disliked a specific teacher/class and earned himself a few detentions for coming to class extremely late. He was also still being very head-strong about not wanting to be different and resented the accommodations we had put in place to help him succeed. It didn't matter to him that we careful to keep his accommodations as discrete as we could, he was going to butt heads with us to show his independence. By second semester he backed down a bit and we lifted some of the helpful aids we had arranged for him, win-win. The following year he made some really great friends, every one of them was a girl, not only did he seek them out between classes they would seek him out as well. He had finally found a group that fully accepted him, when some of the other kids would tease Joe these girls would rally around him and stand up for him while not making it seem like he had girls coming to his rescue. Joe was taking on more responsibility with his schoolwork, but still struggled to get the assignments turned in that he had completed. He was truly enjoying seventh grade! Then our opportunity arose and he was uprooted from not only his school but his group of friends he had grown very close to. Joe would be attending the same middle school I had and was the new kid entering at the beginning of second semester. This year he has found a small group of kids to hang with. He's also realized that he's almost in high school and needs to start putting more effort into his schoolwork. He's also applied to be the school's mascot, with I think he'll be perfect at! He's also really concerning joining the wrestling team.

Jacob was top dog, along with the rest of the fifth-graders and had become very comfortable at this school but was also eager to be moving on, out of the elementary school. Jacob had quickly became one of the popular kids in elementary school, but the cool kind of popular that got along with everyone and wasn't snooty. Middle school for Jacob took some adjusting as he isn't comfortable with new situations or environments. After the initial anxiety had passed he found his place as one of the popular kids among the sixth-grader. He continued to excel in his classes, with only one incident when he began to show some insecurities about his knowledge and started "dumbing down" himself because many of his classmates were not at the same level he was. He quickly got himself back on track once we refocused his attention to be the kid his classmates aim to be. It was smooth sailing until he started second semester at his new school. He handled the transition very well and his Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome wasn't activated. His personality however took a 180, he became shy and reserved at school and had little interest in making any friends. Jacob is Jacob and he kept his A average for the remainder of the school year. This year he's a bit more comfortable with the school and is starting to regain his place among the popular kids. He also applied for a position within the school and was "hired" as the office assistant, he gets paid with school credit for the school store.

I went back to school at the community college to finish my Associates of Arts. Having taken a 15 year hiatus I eased myself back into student life with just one class. I'm glad I only took one class because this history instructor was very detailed in the notes we were to take and our responses on coursework and exams; I'm proud to say I completed the course with an A. The second semester I registered for two onsite classes and two online classes. I ended up dropping my online history course because I was having difficulty understanding what was to be learned and what needed to be submitted,  I chalked it up to my lack of experience and the instructor's teaching style and my learning style were very different. I did beautifully with the other online course and one of my onsite courses; I did take a hit to my GPA with my other onsite class, after talking with classmates we concluded that everyone had done poorly in this class, the instructor had an idea of what he would have liked for an answer and if your response deviated from that per your lack of ability to read minds you were greatly marked down. Eventually everyone gets a teacher like that, overall I'm loving being back in school and am excited about obtaining my first of many degrees. This year I missed the deadline for financial aid and scholarships so I'll be taking this semester off, but I should still be on track to complete my Associates according to my plans; I only have 4 more courses to take.

We've Got a Plan...again!!

We're back to planning our menus!! I forgot how much I missed not hearing "What's for dinner?" every day and wondering the same thing myself while staring into the freezer. Once I figure out what we're eating that week it gets posted in the kitchen, no more guesswork (except for which veggies to have each night :) )

It can be so easy to get into a food rut, especially when majority of the family doesn't eat fish and can't eat much pork. We have 32 meals we rotate every month, but even our favorites are starting to taste bland. So we are trying to include at least one new recipe a week. Here's what this week's menu looks like for us.

Sunday- Taco Salad (using this taco seasoning)
Monday- Chicken Chili & corn bread
Tuesday- Bow tie Chicken Caesar Salad (new meal for us)
Wednesday- Meatloaf, homemade fries
Thursday-  Loaded Baked Potato Soup (new meal for us)
Friday- Marinated chicken breast, stuffing, and sweet potatoes
Saturday- Leftover buffet

 Linking up with Organizing Junkie's Menu Plan Monday.

Looking to add something new to your menu? Check out her blog, there are so many amazing meals shared every Monday!!

New Year, Same Me

We usually set some sort of new year's resolution, but decided against it this year. We start off strong but after a few months life gets in the way and we forget about them. The end of the year rolls around and our focus flips to what we didn't accomplish or which goals we let slip in favor of setting different goals, instead of remaining focused on how much we have grown and accomplished. How awesome is it when you lose 15 pounds you have been trying to shed and keep it off all year?! You're goal was to lose 20, you start thinking about what you could of, should of done to get those other 5 pounds; and you have just stolen your own joy.

I would love to see all my boys back on the honor roll (so would they), but we're going to keep doing what we've been doing. If they are struggling in an area then we'll focus on that area until they understand it. If they are trying their best and studying and only pulling a C+ then so be it. When their organization style is not longer working for them, I'll step in and help get that back on track. If they have been handling things on their own - keeping their grades up and getting assignments turned in, then there is no reason for me to step in just to push for higher grades. I want them striving for their best, not perfection.

We all have fitness goals we want to reach; I want to lose some weight, Jordan wants to work on building more muscle, Joey wants to gain some weight, and Jacob wants to be conditioned for soccer. There will be no weekly weigh-ins, no extreme workout routines, no major menu makeover, and no intense drills. We're still going to eat healthy, with the only change being we have recently decided to try not to eat as much over-processed prepackage foods. We'll be staying active with plenty of time playing outside, playing the sports they enjoy (soccer, basketball, and skateboarding/scooters), going on our hikes/nature walks, and no screen time Monday-Thursday. If during that time I lose weigh, Jordan gains muscle, Joey gains a few pounds, and Jacob is ready for soccer than fantastic! If none of that happens then fantastic, we are healthier than we thought :)

We have no set goals for 2017, other than being better people then we were last year. Learning new things, trying new things, continuing to grow in our relationships and spiritually.

Social Awareness Can Totally Suck

Social Awareness: understanding how you react to different social situations, and effectively modify your interactions with others so you achieve the best result.

I was going to write about how social awareness really sucks some times, when I noticed I already had a draft saved titled "Social Awareness Sucks" from just over a year ago. Seems we have come full circle. We are at a different level of sucky-ness than when I wrote the first draft. When I wrote the first draft my heart was so broken for Joey, which is why I never finished the post. It still really breaks my heart when I think back to that time.

Let me start by saying that I have always admired Joey's ability to do what he enjoys without fear of what others might think of him. He had always been content to do his own thing even if he was doing it alone. Also, let me say kids can be so mean!

Joey's lack of social awareness was a bittersweet blessing, it protected him from the cruelty of his classmates. While he was content to do his own thing, he wanted nothing more that to have friends and be included. He tried so hard and did everything he should have to make friends, but he was already written off as the "weird kid". He was deemed one of the weird ones because of he couldn't sit still and talked too much, his behavior when he was frustrated with his school work, and because he wrote/colored like a kindergartner (dysgraphia).  Every day he tried to engage his classmates, every day he was rebuffed by them. I was shattered the day he told me about the game he got played with his "friends", it was called "Joey Can't Play". He explained it that he goes to different groups of kids and tries to join whatever game they are playing and they find different ways to make it look like he was playing but he wasn't actually allowed to play. He had the biggest smile on his face when he told me too. To him this was his way to be included. The blessing part of this, he had no idea that kids were being cruel and counted every single kid in his class as his friend. Having to talk to him about how his "friends" weren't really his friends, was one of the more difficult conversations I've had to have with him.

Fast forward a couple months and a new medication change, Joey hits the beginnings of social awareness. He comes home from school with the realization that everyone hates him. He sits by the wall all recess or on the"Buddy Bench" (the bench for when you're looking for someone willing to play with you). His class had instituted "The Joey Touch" and it had started to overflow to the rest of the grade during lunches. Everyone groaned and tried to switch partners when paired up with him. He couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong to make everyone dislike him. The more he tried to act like everyone else the more the pushed him away. They were even setting him up to get in trouble, they would invite him to play tag then tell the recess monitors that he was chasing them (the school social worker was able to actually witness this a few times).

Beginning of 5th grade, we saw the grace of social awareness, although he still struggled to be liked by his peers. He curbed some of his quirky ways while at school. When he talked to peers he stayed mostly on their topic. He focused on finding just one or two kids to be friends with. He stayed away from the kids who were being mean or rude to him. He tried reverse psychology on them per my request just to see what would happen. He stopped chasing the girls at recess when they asked, he'd walk up to a group of kids playing a game ask what they were doing then walk away uninterested. Slowly the kids started noticing that Joey wasn't trying to be included and started finding ways to include themselves in what he was doing. I'm so grateful that worked in our favor, we had a 50/50 shot of that actually working. He was less frustrated with his school work due to finally finding a medication that worked for him. His teacher was awesome and did a lot of class work together; as his peers started realize Joey's really smart and has really good ideas they stopped complaining when they were paired up with him.

That brings us to now, end of 5th grade beginning of 6th grade. He has a pretty good handle on what the social norms are. He still has areas he needs to work on but has made amazing progress, and I'm so proud of him. He has a couple friends and talks at least in passing to most of the kids. He's so afraid to be singled out as the weird kid again. He doesn't want to do anything that might cause his peers to think he's different from them. He doesn't want any accommodations that help him with his school work (like going to the resource room during tests) or teachers checking that he has any homework packed to be taken home. He understands that everything we put in place is to help make life easier on him and is meant to be temporary, but he doesn't want to be different anymore. As of right now we have no modifications or accommodations in place.

His being wary of what being different has overflowed to outside of school also. He doesn't want to take his ADHD medication and refuses to cooperate at occupational therapy. Yesterday I was called back at OT because Joey refused to do any of the exercises and literally had the OT chasing him wall to wall. Once I was back there he stood arms crossed and refused to do what he was asked until I threatened to take one of his privileges away. His reasoning he's not autistic like the other kids who go there (granted majority of the kids who also go the therapy center are more severely autistic), and it makes him feel like we think of him as "autistic like them". I have sat down and talk with Joey about why he needs his medication and therapy many times; he knows he needs both, but doesn't want to need them. He doesn't want to be different anymore.

New School Year, New Beginnings

School this year for us is packed with all sorts of new for us. Starting with the fact I have all 3 boys in 3 different buildings, with 3 different start and end times.

Joey is my first one out the door to head off to the middle school. He seems to be adjusting to 6th grade, his only complaint is there is a lot of walking in middle school. I think the changing of classes as well as different teachers for each subject is going to be a big help to him, allowing him multiple "movement breaks". His favorite class after just one week is Design and modeling, majority of his assignments will be done on the computer. It sounds like there is a lot of hands-on construction projects and they even get to use the 3D printer. At the end of last year we had his IEP early so we could come up with a plan for accommodations before they needed to be in place. We are taking a wait and see approach, giving Joey a few weeks to show us what he can handle on his own, then if need be we'll implement the necessary accommodations.

Jacob is the next one out the door,  He had been hoping for a specific teacher that specializes in social studies, so he could pick up his grade a bit in the subject. However, I'm thrilled the has the teacher Joey had last year. Once he realized that most of the "popular kids" are also in that class and the teacher doesn't assign homework, he's more excited about his teacher. As the youngest at home, he's loving being one of the oldest kids in the school. He's planning on being on every committee available to the 5th graders,  he's already signed up for safety patrol and recycling. He was very clear that he will NOT be taking band LOL

Jordan's school has been the biggest adjustment for me, he'll be doing online school this year. Which means he'll be home ALL day with me.  Jordan's school year actually won't start for a couple more weeks. Second semester of last year was just crazy for him!! His grades bounced from A's to F's and back or averaging somewhere in between, we were trying to figure out a correct dosage to maintain his ADHD symptoms. At the time online or homeschooling seemed like our best option. We tried homeschooling for the better part of a month, I quickly realized I had no clue what he was learning while in school. Jumping into first time homeschooling in the middle of a high school year wasn't the best plan, we both were so overwhelmed. I was so terrified I was going to mess up something when it came to his transcripts. We were able to find an online school an hour from our house. The online school was able to test him and place him in the appropriate classes. The only problem switching between public school to homeschool then to online classes was he was going to need to recover his second semester credits. Jordan has schooled throughout the summer break and is working on finished up his last two classes. He's in kind of limbo between two different class programs, he may continue with the one he's currently using or the online school may be able to get him into a virtual classroom. If he works his behind off, he'll finish in time to join the virtual classroom.

Just Leave it Out

I have been a parent for almost 16 years and I'm still figuring things out. Ever do something so simple and have it work wonders and think to yourself, why have I never thought of that before? That's what happened today. I'm sure this is something other parents have figured out ages ago, but it just never crossed my mind until today.

My boys are fantastic when it comes to picking out fruits and veggies. They have their favorites but are also willing to try new things. I'm that crazy mom in the produce aisle looking up how to tell if a starfruit is ripe and the best way to use them. We buy loads of fresh produce with ever intention to eat them.

Once home and everything put away, slowly our beloved strawberries we had planned to slice up get pushed back into the back corners of the fridge. Our watermelon we painstaking searched through the bin for becomes overlooked as part of our kitchen decor.

Forget about the vegetable drawer, if it can't be seen then it must not exist. Anything that goes in that drawer doesn't get scooped out in it's half decomposed sate until our next grocery shopping day. Instead that's where I hide the chocolate and sweet treats, it's always a sweet surprise now whenever I get around to open that drawer :)

I have tried reminding my boys "There's fruit in the fridge" and making suggestions "why don't you grab a banana", yet so much goes to waste. I'd get so annoyed, they begged for mangoes and now I'm having to throw them away again. I bought apples, even Joey will eat apples yet here they sit.

I couldn't figure it out, they pig out on fruits and veggies at Grandma's house. Like seriously will eat every piece of fruit she has in her house. I buy the same things she does. I have even gone as far as buying them at the same store she does.

Then it dawned on me, it's gotta be in a bowl!! We often tease my mom about how she always has to present everything in a bowl or on a platter. Bag of potatoes chips on the table, she'll pour them in a bowl. Sliced watermelon it all stacked neatly on a platter.

I'm busy keeping up with 3 boys ( and cleaning up after them) I don't have time for bowls and platters for presentation. They really don't care one way or the other about how food is present as long as there is food. We are all about efficiency. They want chips tear open the bag and count that you still have all your fingers after setting in the mist of all 3 of them. Watermelon, slice it and tell them to grab some if they want it.

Yet Grandma's bowl thing seems to gravitate there hands. So I gave it a shot.

I sliced up some cucumbers, set them on a plate and left them on the counter. Jordan walks through to refill his water bottle and ask who's cucumbers, I replied no one's really. He grabbed 4 slices and walked out. Jacob notices that someone is eating something and being the youngest wants to make sure he gets his share, walks in and takes a handful. Now these are the same cucumbers that have been sitting on counter all week that no one noticed.

With the cucumbers gone, I start pulling more stuff out of the fridge. Rinse some grapes and place them in a bowl on the kitchen table. I cut up the watermelon leaving the bowl on the opposite side of the kitchen. I broke out out "Garlic, Garlic dip" peeled some carrots and broke up some broccoli, those went on the picnic table.

As I stood there mindlessly eating grapes I watched my boys grab some of everything that was placed out.  Before the night was through they had eaten  two stalks of broccoli, a bag of carrots, a whole watermelon and a bag of grapes. Okay I have joined in with grabbing some of this and a little of that as I passed by. Even the neighbor kids asked for toothpicks to snack on some watermelon when playing in our yard.

When it's in a bowl they know it's washed and ready to eat. Also I have taken the "work" out eating them. I have them washed, sliced, cut, peeled, and presented. Also many of us are accustomed to mindless eating when we see food sitting in front of us.

So this was my "DUH" moment for the day. So simple, yet it never dawned on me. With this system in place we'll actually need to visit our Farmer's Market on Saturday morning.

1000 Hours Challenge- How well did we do?

Having children you tend to find yourself outside a lot. With all that energy they have being outside seems like the easiest way for them to expel it. Even if you're not a fan of spending time outside, you sit at a bench with a book while your kiddo runs mad circles around the playground. So when you hear a challenge called 1000 Hours Outside, you snicker and think to yourself "We spend at least that much time being outdoors!". That's exactly what I thought we took the challenge in October 2013. Once we started tracking our hours I learned it only seems like we spent tons of time outside. In actuality we were out on average only an hour or two a day, even on the weekends. In the spirit of a challenge we stepped up our effort to get outside. While we were giving it our best shot, Mother Nature gave us her best shot to keep us inside that winter with double digit negative temperatures. We didn't reach the goal of 1000 Hours, ending 218 hours short. The affect of the challenge had us getting creative about ways to spend just a few more hours outside. We made so many memories during the challenge and learned there were some activities we really enjoyed that we hadn't thought of, geocaching is still a favorite as well as walking/hiking different nature trails. I thought my boys would be bored to tears having to walk miles of trails with no electrical outlets to recharge their devices and only our own company. They surprised me and become so animated being away from all constant stimulation. I have their undivided attention, other than taking in our surroundings we talk about everything and anything. Their curiosity is peaked every time, more often than not when we get home they want to research the plants, trees, birds, and especial the snakes. Even my more cautious child, Jacob, will have us venturing off on different trails just to see where they go.

While we did not reaching the goal, I consider our first attempt a success. When I mentioned attempting the challenge again last April my boys were all for it, they started making lists of places to visit and favorite trails to revisit. We started off strong as summer was just around the corner and nice weather makes us itch to get outside. We were averaging 28 hours a week in the beginning, then around then end of November we got busy with school routine and just kind of stopped going outside. After Christmas it was near impossible to pull the boys away from the tablets they got as gifts. Finally around the end of February we started get outside for a few hours here and there. With the end of the "Challenge" quickly approaching their competitive nature showed through and as they tried cramming in as many hours as we could spare. Yesterday was the last day for our second attempt and we again fell short, not even reaching our total from before. We only managed 754 hours.

We're going to give it one more go, third times the charm. I believe it is important for children of all ages to get outside, but I've noticed that as they get older it can be more challenging to actually get them outside. I follow 1000 Hours Outside both on Facebook and Instagram, they have encouraged so many families to get the kiddos out and unplugged from the electronics. I also noticed that most of those families have young children, preschool/ early elementary age. When my boys were younger it was so much easier to get them outside, I almost never had to ask them. They would be out there from sun up to sun down and be filthy from head to toe. Now we have more things pulling at their attention, I lose 7 hours a day to get them outside due to them being in school. There is also the time spent on homework, after school activities, weekly appointments for occupational therapy, and time spent at friends' houses (which is usually indoors playing video games). I'm set to prove that although my boys are older (15, 11, and 10) that the goal of 1000 hours can be reached. Some days I have begged, pleaded, bribed, and drugged them outside. I have told them to get in the car we were leaving without telling them our destination, only for them to enjoy themselves once at the nature trail. I don't have the playground for them to burn off energy at anymore as they are "too grown" for that; we have gotten some looks at the squirt zone when my 6 ft 15 year old is running around with his brothers. We get creative. We try to keep things are low cost (free whenever possible ) and we try to mix it up so they don't get bored or things begin to feel routine.

While I have "big kids" they are still kids and enjoy being outside. They still like to be goofy and aren't afraid of looking ridiculous. Here's a review of how we've spent some of our 754 hours.

Back To School

It can be so difficult to find the opportunity to steal away some computer time for myself when the boys are all home. Everyone is back to school and adjusting well back into the routine.

Jordan did get shuffled on to ninth grade. I have mixed feeling about this; while I know he is more than capable of doing the work, his grades however did not reflect this. I irks me that every child gets pushed on to the next grade rather they are capable of the work or not. Jordan is enjoying his freshman year thus far. His elective classes are his favorite weight training and surprising Spanish. Until this year he's dreaded Spanish class, he says he only likes it because his teacher is so much fun. His grades last year did come with consequences, he was placed in pre-algebra which he despises because of the extremely slow pace for the class and he gets pulled from weight training twice a week for language arts remediation.


Joey has a wonderful teacher!! I have spoken with her a few times and she is very open to working with parents. Joey still qualifies for resource room assistance but has not needed to visit the resource room. He is keeping up with his classmates on his assignments with no modifications. To help prepare him for middle school I am not meeting him in his classroom at the end of the day. He is to fill out his agenda and the teacher double checks that he has all homework assignments before he meets me at the end of the hallway. He still digs in his heels about doing homework, but does it with little help from me. The grades he's been earning on his assignments are nothing lower than a B. Thank God Almighty he really enjoys his teacher, they seem to get along well.



  Jacob hit a hiccup before school even started when not even one of his friends were in his class. Jacob is Jacob though and within a week was okay with only seeing his buddies at lunch. He is looking forward to running for student council now that he's in 4th grade. He really likes this teacher, says she's really funny. Both Joey and Jacob have taken a new student under their wing. Both volunteered to be their locker partners and are still playing with their "new student" during recess.



Jordan is planning on trying out for the school's basketball team this year. He hasn't done much in the sense of conditioning but is hoping through his weigh training class he won't be at too much of a disadvantage. Jordan has recently become involved with the youth group through our church. The group consists of high school students, so majority of the kids are older than him. He prefers to hang out with people older than him, he is more comfortable in this group than he was in the middle school one. I'm not 100% sure what they do at the youth group meetings, but from the pictures they share they have way too much fun :) *Pictured is the outfit he chose for their "Thrift Store Homecoming Dance"




Joey has joined Jacob's soccer team and both are doing awesome. Jacob is the leader scorer for his team although most of his teammates have played for a couple of years. Jacob is still strong as a forward and Joey is getting the hang of things. There are two Joeys on their team, Joey asked the coach to call him "Bob" so he knew when he was talking to him...lol. It works well, but is so funny listening to everyone cheer for "Bob". He has been wonderful at being an encouragement to his teammates, it doesn't matter if someone is upset about letting a goal get past them or if someone was injured, "Bob" is right there to comfort and encourage.


Due to soccer games overlapping the time we spend helping at the pantry, we have to wait until the season is over before returning to volunteer. They boys really miss being at the pantry and are looking forward to being back and seeing everyone. I have compensated not being at the pantry by helping out the church one day a week. I do a little bit of everything, whatever they need the day I'm there I do. One of the best parts is I help assemble the programs we hand on before our services. I have meet some wonderful people. I really don't want to totally give up my time helping at the church once we return to the pantry, it's a lot of gas to head to the church 3 times a week. The boys have agreed to helping at the pantry every other week so on the off weeks I can still do my volunteering.



Jordan also has been ushering with me at church. We work in different areas so he can have a bit more independence, but I can still keep an eye on him. The boys are too young to usher, not to be excluded though every Sunday they help with taking down all the chairs after service. They are a huge help and great workers.




The changes I have seen in Joey the last couple months has me awestruck. He has been surprising me in so many little ways from trying new foods to joining a team sport. The newest one is he has decided he'd like to be in the beginner band through the school!! He had his heart set on playing the flute, but after he tested out what instrument best fit him; he's going to play the.... trombone!! "I'm going to be the best trombone player ever, Mom! And I only have to be to school and hour earlier for practice!!" So I guess I going to see about renting him a trombone.

Time For Some Changes

Oh my, it's been awhile since I've sat down to write!

I don't even know where to start with some of the changes that have taken place. Joey is so very grateful that the school year has ended and he is finally done with horrible teacher he had (honestly so am I). By some miracle the teacher passed him to fifth grade. I was really worried about what his report card would reflect having seen the grades that were given on daily assignments. I have never requested that my boys have or not have a specific teacher before this year; I requested that Jacob not have the teacher Joey had for fourth grade. Jacob passed third grade with flying colors, not that I expected anything less from my studious child. Jordan is kind of in a limbo state right now. He chose not ignore the warnings from his teachers and myself, and did not pass majority of his classes. In my opinion I think he really didn't think I would allow the school to fail him. I have to wait for the office staff to return from their break to find out if he will be repeating eighth grade or if they'll just shuffle him to the high school regardless of his grades. There were no notes on his report card as to rather he would need to attend summer school, repeat the grade, or was promoted to ninth grade. I'll keep you posted as I learn what his next school year will look like.

Joey is taking his "drug holiday" so he is full of energy ALL THE TIME. The only issue we have had with this holiday is that two of the kids we constantly play with are also taking "drug holidays" and the kids can not tolerate each other in the least. Actually I think my kids burnt out playing with the same 3 kids everyday before school let out (middle/end of May), so things were bound to change. My boys have been awesome since we took a break from our friends; their frustration is almost nonexistent, there have been none/minimal angry outbursts, and they enjoy playing with each other and the handful of other "non-trouble makers" in our little corner. My friend has said basically the same about her kids, that things have been better since we split up the kids. It is so wonderful to spend hours outside chatting with friends while the kids play without any of the kids fussing at each other. Before we chose to take a break it was literally less than 3 minutes of our everyday friends being out that fists were flying. I'm not talking about the kids roughhousing or fussing, they were out for blood. So a break was way over due. The only reason I waited so long to call a break from our 3 friends is because their mom is my best friend. I could not come up with a way to nicely tell her that my kids were not going to play with her's anymore without jeopardizing our friendship. I just started keeping my boys away from the neighborhood when possible, playing at more parks and taking more walks. I even had them playing in the backyard with other friends so not to cross paths with the friends they were having issues with. Then one night while talking with my friend, she broke the ice and mentioned that she has been keeping her kids away from the neighborhood when she knew we'd be outside playing. It turns out that her kids no longer wanted to play with my kids, more accurately Joey. The only issue we're having now is keeping the kids away from each other during church when they're in the same youth room together. I have talked to the youth pastor and we're trying a few things to see if we can resolve this.

Having split off from the same 3 kids we've played with almost everyday from the past 3 years (yeah, a break was needed) we have been spending more time with other kids in our little corner. Still no one Jordan's age but he enjoys talking with the dad next door and hanging out the the 3 year olds. He's surprisingly very patient with them and they absolutely adore him. One of our new neighbors has become best friends with Joey. Which is so awesome!! They are very much alike and are constantly knocking on each other's door. I'm so glad that Joey found a best friend after all the issues he went through this past school year with his peers. Jacob gets along with all of our "new friends" but still prefers to hang by himself (aka watching Youtube videos). I'm loving the fact that while the boys are outside playing I can duck inside and get dinner started or wash up the dishes without worrying there will be a dispute and I'll need to intervene. Also I know if we're at the park, beach, etc I can leave a kid (or 3) with our "new friends" and not worry there will any issues.

 There's one major drawback to the kids not playing together, I don't get to see my friend as much. We met every night to sit, chat, and smoke. We have done this for years; rain, snow, freezing temperatures, and under attack from mosquitoes we make a point of chatting without little ears around. Our evening chats are the only time we get to see each other. That said, we sit out there longer than we did a few weeks ago and I smoke more while I'm out there (not helping with my trying to quit smoking). I feel like despite trying to maintain our friendship while the kids are no longer friends is effecting our friendship. While we sit out there longer, neither of us have much to say. I don't want to talk about what we did that day with other neighbors, feels rude to me. She text messages her male friend as is their nightly ritual. It's just not the same as chatting throughout the day.

 While I'm updating about the change in friendships around here, I may as well include that we lost another friend (and fellow blogger) just a few weeks ago. It's bitter sweet for us, while we'll miss seeing them we are very happy about the adventure they have begun. Our friends at Growing into Me have moved to Florida!! We look forward to following all the fun things they discover while they are there, as well as their journey of homeschooling for the first time.

Tantrum Tuesaday!! 1/3 of My Children Always Seem To Be Backsliding

I sat down to write about our adventure at another new park for us, when I get a call from the school. So change of plans I'm going to hold off on that post, and do another Tantrum Tuesday instead.

Why is that I can never have all 3 of my boys acting right and making positive choices all at the same time? I'd settle for just one day of them all doing what they are suppose to! There is always one, and sometimes two, that seem to be going off the deep end. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that (as of yet) I haven't had them all losing their common sense at the same time. Is it really too much to ask for them to think before they do something?

I know. I know. They're boys and don't always think things through. Also that they are kids and being a kid is when you make mistakes and learn from your mistakes. Seriously though, can't a mom catch a break. When one starts making big strides in their behavior, another one seems to decide to backslide. Most often it alternates between my two oldest. Jake has his moments too, but not to the same degree as the older two (yet).

Here's a couple examples for you:

1) Joey decided that he was through with school, his teacher, and homework about a month ago. Just stop doing assignments and overall giving all his teachers a hard time. He was telling his teachers he left his homework at home and telling me that he was suppose to leave the assignment at school to finish or that it was already finished. We found a stack of unfinished assignments crammed into the back of his desk. While trying to figure out what Joey's deal was and get him back on track, Jordan stepped up his game. Jordan cleared out his locker finding missing assignments which he turned in for a reduced grade. He was being kinder to his brothers. He was actually playing with the younger kids in the neighborhood. Helping me around the house. Just all around being encouraging and a helping hand to many.

2) I recently bragged on Facebook how awesome Joey has been doing. He's back on track and catching up his assignments. He's making friends at school and actually talking to them outside of school. He's making progress with some of his sensory issues. He's still being Joey and we have few bumps that get turned into mountains throughout the day, but overall he's been doing great. That's Jordan's cue turn my hair grey. Today's phone call was to notify me that Jordan will be suspended from school tomorrow. There was a "reward field trip" today for the students who had kept their grades up and haven't gotten any write ups. Those kids who were doing what they were suppose to all year long, had earned themselves a day riding go-carts. Jordan was not counted as part of that group of kids this year. Jordan decided that he wanted to go anyways and snuck onto the bus. I haven't gotten the chance to talk to Jordan yet, but I'm guessing he didn't figure once there the teachers would do a head count. Seems he wasn't suppose to be there, they put him back on the bus and brought him back to school. He was written up as skipping school. That's his second suspension within a month. With only a little over a week left of school, hopefully it will be his last.

When Jordan and Joey are both working in a positive direction, no matter how briefly, is when Jacob's attitude comes out in full force. Jake takes his school work very seriously so he never slacks there, but he makes up for it with his mood swings. My little snuggle bear turns ornery!! There is no pleasing him and he's just looking for an argument wherever he can find one.

Will they ever all get their acts together at the same time? Probably. Will it happen while they're all still living at home? Probably not, but I'm hopeful. Will my hair be completely grey before Jacob leaves for college? Hopefully not, but probably.

Lake St. Clair Metropark

We love visiting Lake St. Clair Metropark (Metro Beach to us locals), and usually make a couple trips a year. There is plenty to do and we tend to spend the whole day there. Besides the beach (we don't swim though), there's a splash pad, picnic areas, playground, shuffle board, fishing areas, nature center, and a bike/walking path that loops around the park and ends somewhere miles down Metro Parkway. Recently we learned there is a nature trail also.

We hadn't planned on marking this nature trail off our list just yet, but so glad that we did. I had promised the boys we'd go for our first family bike ride after all homework was completed. By the time homework was done, the bikes were dug out of the shed, air put in the tires, and were loaded up we were getting a really late start on our ride.

We normally park near the nature center, so after our ride we can stop in for a quick look around to see what new things may have been added. Due to our late start we thought we'd start with the nature center, but they had just closed. We started off on our typical bike path the leads out of the park. Normally we bike to McDonald where we have dinner as a special treat before heading back, but today we weren't stopping to eat. We rode the whole 3 miles to McDonald where we turned around and headed back to the car. I was so impressed with my boys for a couple of reasons. 1. They didn't even ask to eat at McDonald. 2. They hadn't asked to take any breaks during our whole bike ride. 3. One of Jordan's pedals fell off before the first mile marker and he just kept on riding.

Not being conditioned to ride for so long, our backsides were a bit sore. We chose to stretch out our muscles by walking the nature trail. We have only walked this trail one other time, as part of our 2013 Winter Bucket List. The boys really liked seeing everything turning green and the trail waking up from it's winter sleep.

We had barely started our walk when Joey noticed a leopard frog hidden on the side of the trail. Joey isn't normally the one to notice little details and this little guy had some great camouflage. After finding the frog, the frog hunt was on! My boys started really looking to see if they could find any more. Jordan found another leopard frog near the edge of the river. Jacob was searching so diligently without success. There was a large pond and Jacob feeling discouraged that he hadn't found a frog wanted to take the shortcut around the pond and head home. Nature had other plans for us; as we turned towards the shortcut we saw some Canadian geese with their goslings. Not wanting to test the new parents we took the long way around.

The long way held some surprises for us. First, we saw a pair of swans. Obviously they have long necks, but we didn't realized just how long until we watched then dive through the algae. Then the most wonderful thing happen, Jacob found a frog! Not another leopard frog like his brothers, but a good sized bull frog. We also seen another pair of ducks (we saw many ducks in pairs along our bike ride also).

As we were leaving the park we had one more surprise creature, a groundhog. He was so close to the road that I just had to turn around and try to snap a picture of him. While he hadn't moved when we drove past him the first time, we scared him away when we slowed down to take his picture (must be camera shy...lol).

Click here to learn more about Lake St, Clair Metropark

and

Click here to learn more about their nature center

Seven Ponds Nature Center

Lots of nature walks seems to currently working for us. It's something I can get all 3 boys to do with little complaint and for the most part they don't fuss at each other while we're walking. The bonus is we can add our time on the trails to our goal of 1000 hours outside. The have a couple trails we walk often, but the boys were getting bored with them. We all researched other trails and nature centers near our home, that we had not known about. We compiled at list of 17 places within 30 minutes to an hour away, all but 3 are new places for us.


A few weeks back we checked out one of our new places. We really lucked out on the day we visited, we were there on an "Eco Day" and there were extra activities to do. While we would have been happy just checking out the center and walking the trail, the extra activities provided some awesome learning experiences. The reptiles that were visiting for the day from Lansing were a huge hit with my kiddos. Jordan is very comfortable around snakes, but the other two not so much. Jordan wasted no time asking to hold different types of snakes. Joey and Jake were standing back and preferred watching the turtles and the snakes that were in tanks. Joey doesn't like to touch snakes because of his sensory issues, he shies away from cold and slimy looking things. Jacob is cautious with most animals, and has a healthy respect for the fact that animals all have potential to revert to their primal instincts. The group that brought the snakes were very knowledgeable and answered the boys many questions. We were even given the opportunity to watch one of the snakes eat a frog. I have to admit, I thought it was a very cool thing to see!! We must have spent about 45 minutes playing with the reptiles. Within that 45 minutes Joey managed to push himself to hold a snake.

 Next on our list was to dissect owl pellets. The boys were corrected when they exclaimed that we'd be digging through owl poop. Jacob was very relieved when he heard it's more like a hairball. Each of the boys' pellets held different surprises. Jordan had an extra jaw bone, that had probably been left behind from a previous meal. Joey had a whole mouse still intact, just really compressed (Like the whole mouse; tail, still fluffy fur, and all!!). Jacob had an intact skull with the teeth still in place. We were given a chart so we could identify the bones we found and the tools needed to carefully dissect the pellet. We found it easier to use our hands to peel the "fur pieces" away. We were given bags and brought our bones home.

 After a quick hand washing, we finally looked through the nature center. This one had an awesome "touch table" in the center of the room. There were so many things we have not had the opportunity to touch before. There were other things to check out along the walls, but this table was by far the coolest part for us. They had a whole wall that was a window for bird watching, were we watched a woodpecker. There was also a really neat tunnel thing the smaller guys could crawl through and poke their heads up in the beaver dam display. A whole room was dedicated to different types of birds and some displays of there habitats.



We briefly visited a craft room they had set up for the day. Jordan and Jacob planted seeds in plastic bags while Joey made monsters using bottle caps. Two of my boys made "rain tubes" using paper towel tubes, fasteners, rice and beans. Then slowly I lost their attention for the other crafts as they drifted back to the reptile room.




When I walked into the room I found Joey actually holding a snake, not just any snake a big black rat snake. Jacob also worked up the courage to "pet" a snake, although he still wasn't interested in holding any of them. After a while of watching the snakes wind their way around my children, we headed outside to the nature trail.

 We didn't make it far before we made a detour to learn about bees. We were promised a honey stick if we could locate the queen bee. So while Jordan and Jake searched the small comb for the queen, Joey asked a bunch of questions about what a bee keeper does. Joey got to practice spinning a couple empty frames, learn what the smoker was for and how it effected the bees and learn the different layers of the hive. While Joey was learning all this cool stuff the other two were still searching for the queen bee (they had also been listen to the guy as he explain things to Joey), they were determined to earn a honey stick. We searched for that queen for about 20 minutes, before the guy took pity on us and gave honey sticks for trying. As we were walking away he found the queen and called us back, we hadn't been able spot her with the blue dot they place on her back because she had been tucked away in a corner laying eggs.

 Then it was finally time to tackle the trail. We were told we should stop by "turtle pond" along our way, there usually are a bunch of turtles and frog you can spot easily. The turtles were sitting all lines up on a branch and looked liked like a bunch of tiny helmets. The frogs were all over the place just blending in and being frogs. We had seen a bull frog but when we got closer for a better look, he jumped into the water. From there we continued our 1.5 mile walk along the trail. While everything was still brown and not much to look at, we did make a few discoveries such as a beaver dam and a lot of trees with beaver teeth marks on them. The path itself was a nice change for the boys, instead of just the dirt ground there were wooden planks to walk on and a cool bridge to cross over. The boys also did some climbing around as there isn't any poison ivy to watch out for yet.

Click here to visit the home page for Seven Ponds