Time For Some Changes

Oh my, it's been awhile since I've sat down to write!

I don't even know where to start with some of the changes that have taken place. Joey is so very grateful that the school year has ended and he is finally done with horrible teacher he had (honestly so am I). By some miracle the teacher passed him to fifth grade. I was really worried about what his report card would reflect having seen the grades that were given on daily assignments. I have never requested that my boys have or not have a specific teacher before this year; I requested that Jacob not have the teacher Joey had for fourth grade. Jacob passed third grade with flying colors, not that I expected anything less from my studious child. Jordan is kind of in a limbo state right now. He chose not ignore the warnings from his teachers and myself, and did not pass majority of his classes. In my opinion I think he really didn't think I would allow the school to fail him. I have to wait for the office staff to return from their break to find out if he will be repeating eighth grade or if they'll just shuffle him to the high school regardless of his grades. There were no notes on his report card as to rather he would need to attend summer school, repeat the grade, or was promoted to ninth grade. I'll keep you posted as I learn what his next school year will look like.

Joey is taking his "drug holiday" so he is full of energy ALL THE TIME. The only issue we have had with this holiday is that two of the kids we constantly play with are also taking "drug holidays" and the kids can not tolerate each other in the least. Actually I think my kids burnt out playing with the same 3 kids everyday before school let out (middle/end of May), so things were bound to change. My boys have been awesome since we took a break from our friends; their frustration is almost nonexistent, there have been none/minimal angry outbursts, and they enjoy playing with each other and the handful of other "non-trouble makers" in our little corner. My friend has said basically the same about her kids, that things have been better since we split up the kids. It is so wonderful to spend hours outside chatting with friends while the kids play without any of the kids fussing at each other. Before we chose to take a break it was literally less than 3 minutes of our everyday friends being out that fists were flying. I'm not talking about the kids roughhousing or fussing, they were out for blood. So a break was way over due. The only reason I waited so long to call a break from our 3 friends is because their mom is my best friend. I could not come up with a way to nicely tell her that my kids were not going to play with her's anymore without jeopardizing our friendship. I just started keeping my boys away from the neighborhood when possible, playing at more parks and taking more walks. I even had them playing in the backyard with other friends so not to cross paths with the friends they were having issues with. Then one night while talking with my friend, she broke the ice and mentioned that she has been keeping her kids away from the neighborhood when she knew we'd be outside playing. It turns out that her kids no longer wanted to play with my kids, more accurately Joey. The only issue we're having now is keeping the kids away from each other during church when they're in the same youth room together. I have talked to the youth pastor and we're trying a few things to see if we can resolve this.

Having split off from the same 3 kids we've played with almost everyday from the past 3 years (yeah, a break was needed) we have been spending more time with other kids in our little corner. Still no one Jordan's age but he enjoys talking with the dad next door and hanging out the the 3 year olds. He's surprisingly very patient with them and they absolutely adore him. One of our new neighbors has become best friends with Joey. Which is so awesome!! They are very much alike and are constantly knocking on each other's door. I'm so glad that Joey found a best friend after all the issues he went through this past school year with his peers. Jacob gets along with all of our "new friends" but still prefers to hang by himself (aka watching Youtube videos). I'm loving the fact that while the boys are outside playing I can duck inside and get dinner started or wash up the dishes without worrying there will be a dispute and I'll need to intervene. Also I know if we're at the park, beach, etc I can leave a kid (or 3) with our "new friends" and not worry there will any issues.

 There's one major drawback to the kids not playing together, I don't get to see my friend as much. We met every night to sit, chat, and smoke. We have done this for years; rain, snow, freezing temperatures, and under attack from mosquitoes we make a point of chatting without little ears around. Our evening chats are the only time we get to see each other. That said, we sit out there longer than we did a few weeks ago and I smoke more while I'm out there (not helping with my trying to quit smoking). I feel like despite trying to maintain our friendship while the kids are no longer friends is effecting our friendship. While we sit out there longer, neither of us have much to say. I don't want to talk about what we did that day with other neighbors, feels rude to me. She text messages her male friend as is their nightly ritual. It's just not the same as chatting throughout the day.

 While I'm updating about the change in friendships around here, I may as well include that we lost another friend (and fellow blogger) just a few weeks ago. It's bitter sweet for us, while we'll miss seeing them we are very happy about the adventure they have begun. Our friends at Growing into Me have moved to Florida!! We look forward to following all the fun things they discover while they are there, as well as their journey of homeschooling for the first time.

Calgon, Take Me Away!

Yay, another full moon! Which means my kiddos are going to be more out of wack. Actually things have been crazy around here since the last full moon. Slowly my boys have being acting like they are losing their mind and they're taking mine with them. Our house usually runs smoothly, especially with the routines that have been set in place for as long as I can remember. Since the beginning of the school year we have been stumbling to climb over all the bumps thrown into our normal schedule. First we had to get used to the new school schedule with a later release time, that pushed us back an hour a day. Once we refigured our routine we threw in scout meetings twice a week plus catechism. We handled it and established a new system, until recently with the addition of basketball practice five days a week (with a variety of practice times). No wonder we all feel lost, overwhelmed, and disorganized. Within three months we've changed things up so many times.

 

I rely on our routine as much as the boys do. I like things orderly and organized. Lately we haven't been able to get a tight grip on those things, and it's effecting the whole house. Last night while sipping on my congratulatory glass of wine for making it through an interesting high energy day; I thought we need a fresh start. Just moving things around isn't working.  We just need to start over. A clean slate. Then started making my list for a home makeover (kind of).

 

Once all the boys were at school I started setting my plan in action. I started with taking down the house rules and lists of daily reminders. I figured if I was going for a fresh start I may as do a  thorough job of it. I started with the kitchen, re-organizing the cupboards and panty, washed up the stove and fridge,then pulled them out (how does so much stuff accumulate under there), and scrubbed the floors and wiped down all the walls and countertops. While everything in there was drying I tackled a complete scrub down of the bathrooms and all the downstairs walls. During a lunch break, I rewrote all our reminder lists and the house rules on different paper and hung them in a different place also rearranged the kitchen furniture. Then moved on to the living room where I dusted and vacuumed every nook and cranny. Every fingerprint is off all the windows and mirrors (that will last until the boys get home).

 

Now I'm exhausted and feeling very accomplished. Everything looks fresh, new, and organized. I can feel my sanity returning, and feel as though we can get ourselves back on track. As I had hoped they were excited by the small changes I had made. During dinner the boys and I sat down and went over the routine and the few changes to the house rules as well as the consequences. They asked to start doing the "Caught being Good Wheel" again. We haven't done this for over a year, they can earn a spin on the wheel for behaving exceptionally well. The "prizes " are simple things like play a game with mom, extra reading time before bed, etc. The atmosphere in the house is different, everything is shiny and scented candles are filling the air with calming fragrances. Everyone seems eager and ready to be back on track. 

 

*Jordan had practice today, but he and I talked while we did our mile walk after school. I made sure included his thoughts when I talked with the other boys during dinner.

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We're All Good

We received our official acceptance letters into our new schools. Jordan is over the moon that he has been accepted and now says "I always knew they'd take me, why wouldn't they" lol. There was some question to which middle school they were going to send him, if he got in; thankfully he's in the one toured and had hoped for. Recently, we have learned some of his classmates from our "old" school will also be attending the same middle school. It's nice to know there will be some familiar faces amongst the masses. We have to wait until just before school starts to set up his schedule, this is new for him; his schedule was always figured out for him and the school chose his electives. All the boys are looking forward to not having to take Spanish class anymore. They are already learning a second language at home, I have been slowly teaching them sign language for years. My only problem now, What am I to do with ALL these uniforms and dress slacks. I think I may know some families that can take some of them off my hands. I think we'll keep one shirt per kids as a memento, it had been Jordan's school for the past 5 years and the other boys' first school. Although we are so ready to move on, it is kind of sad t be leaving behind the only school they've really known. I had been very involved in a wide variety of activities from helping in classroom, testing kids, keeping score at sporting events and running concession stands, to field trips and working in the lunchroom. I have come to know most of the students, and will miss them dearly, some of the middle school students had taken to calling me "Aunt Julie". I have worked beside many wonderful parent volunteers and will miss them also. I will be in the same place as my boys, when it comes to getting involved with activities and meeting new people. There will be new opportunities for me also to involve myself in the schools and new parents to meet. Choosing to view it as adding to our circle of friends, not as missing out on things with our old friends. Not sure what school Matthew will be attending, this year it will be up to his father. I do know he will also be starting a new school regardless of which school his father chooses. He'll also have new opportunities wherever he goes. We will stopping by the school tomorrow, the official last day of school to empty out lockers, pick up some things my boys have earned and of course say goodbye to our friends, maybe even get a few people to sign their yearbooks. I have to make sure they get some closure, the way we left the school didn't give them a chance, and was not the way we had planned to leave. We are closing this chapter and looking forward to starting a new one with us all beginning in the same place.

Accepted

I'm doing a happy dance, two of the three boys were accepted into the school of our choice! Still waiting to hear on the last one, thinking positively. The boys were excited when they heard the news. Poor Jacob keeps thinking he's going to go this year. After we toured the school he thought the next day he was going to start there. That morning he was confused as why I woke him so early (we'll get an extra hour of sleep, BONUS) and why he had to still wear his uniform. I explained we had to wait to make sure they had room for us first, he wasn't happy about still having to wake up early but didn't complain. Again last night after hearing that they have been accepted, he thought he'd be attending today, because "but they have room for us". After some conversation he agreed that he should finish out the school year at the charter school and give proper good-byes to his classmates.
I was a little concerned how Joey would handle going to the new school, given that fact that he will be repeating the 3rd grade once he gets there. This year while trying to figure out his behavioral issues and dealing with the school because of his behavioral issues, he's grades and study habits took a nose dive. He's been working very hard to regain his grades and get back on track, but it feels like he's always playing catch up. After explain that none of the other kids will even know that he's already done 3rd grade, pointing out that he'll now probably be the tallest in his class as well as the oldest (I'm so glad he's still at the age where being the oldest and the biggest is a good thing), and he won't have to struggle so hard and will already know some of the material the other kids will be learning. Thankfully he's okay with it now. It was a very hard decision to make, but I think I've made the right call.
"King Jordan (as we taken to calling him during his hormonal preteen stage) has been making life interesting in our house. He's not happy about not hearing back yet if he'll be attending the new school or not. Although I don't like to make excuses for my kids when they decide to turn my house topsy-turvy; I think "King Jordan" has reappeared to show that he's important too and feels slighted by not quickly being accepted by the school. He is taking it out on his subjects (the other boys) by ordering them around; which this Queen B isn't liking at all. In his royal glory this morning he decided the subjects should be stuck eating Rice Krispies, while he had the good sugared cereal that after he poured his, he hid it away in his royal cellar (aka his closest). Oh the joys of having a preteen, I CAN wait to see what the teenage stage brings. Fingers Crossed we hear back soon on the new school.
~Julie

What's new with the "B's"...

The school year is quickly coming to an end, but so is my time as my nephew's caregiver. End of June he will go back to live with his father. Its' very bitter sweet to have him leaving us, in so many ways he has become one of  my boys. We have accomplished so much in the time he has been with me and he has definitely challenged me while here. We're all going to miss him terribly even though we'll still get to visit with him, but it won't be the same. I'm going to miss taking him to his physical and occupational therapy, where we've made so many friends whom have been an encouragement and a support system. I won't miss having to drag him to so many doctor appointments and tests; hopefully they'll be a thing of the past now that we've got the ball rolling in the right direction. I'll miss the cuddles he gives spontaneously throughout the day and having him tell me he missed me every time I reenter a room. He has grown so much during his stay with us and learned so many things. It amazes me how much more independent he is compared to when he first got here. It's going to feel weird for awhile carting around only 3 kids, tucking in only 3 kids, and making lunches for only 3 kids. To not have to always be reading labels to make sure things are gluten free and/or make alternative meals that are similar to our meals but are gluten free. I am however looking forward to devoting more of my time and energy to my little family. Everyone kind of got pushed toward the back burner until we could get Matthew his diagnosis and the help he needed. There was some resentment from that and I'm still working on correcting the friction that was caused. So much of my attention was on getting Matthew set up with should have been in place since he was 2 years old, that I missed my own boys straying off course.
We will be busy enough this summer and up coming fall to distract from the fact that we are once again a family of four. A lot of focusing on my boys and spending a lot of family time together. I have signed on with The Happy Family Movement and we have a "Summer Bucket List" of 101 activities (and counting) to tackle. I'm also doing a 30 day challenge through The Orange Rhino to yell less, love more. I'm finishing up a 30 day Beach Body challenge and will be participating in another one with Crystal during June.
This fall my boys will be attending their first ever public school, if everything goes according to the plan. This is my first time with school of choice, and I guess you have to wait to hear if they'll have room for you. We have had a very trying year at the charter school they have attended, along with many things at the school that I have issues with (and don't see changes coming any time soon). Even though they are sad about leaving their friends (and the basketball coach) , they are very excited about no uniform, making new friends, and starting a new adventure (and for my oldest the shear variety of sports).
I will keep everyone updated as much as I can about how Matthew is doing and adjusting to his new living arrangement. Soon I should be able to share our progress with our "Summer Bucket List". Although summer hasn't officially started for us yet, the boys were excited to get started on their list and have already completed one item :)
~Julie

Post from 6/1/13