Confession Of A Charging Rhino

I have not given a Orange Rhino update since December 26th, when I had raised my voice after the boys were giggly and antsy during midnight mass. I understand their goofiness was more likely due to it being so late (early?) and my own exhaustion, however I did lose my cool and allow my voice to be raised. I only mark down when I wasn't successful and with everything had was going on with the holidays I completely forgot to count how many days I had not yelled. Things have been going swimming that I would have not thought about my commitment to the Orange Rhino, but last Friday I yelled. (Boy, did I yell!) Before I get to why I flew off the handle let me tally up how many yell free days I already had under my belt. 23 days! That's a new record for me. For 23 days I did not yell, raise my voice or even talk through my teeth. I hadn't even been concentrating on not yelling.  Not until the day I totally blew it.

Jordan doesn't get to spend much time with friends during basketball season between practices, games, and homework. After Thursday's game (which was their first home court win, YAY!) he asked to go home with a friend, things were busy for that day. He made plans to spend some time with his buddy the next day after practice with the understanding he would complete any homework over the weekend. It ended up being trying to arrange how Jordan was to get to his friend's house, as the friend was not on the basketball team, and I wouldn't allow Jordan to walk alone after practice. Most of the plotting and planning was left up to the boys. Jordan was to finalize the plans with his friend and call me after school but before practice to let me know if I'd have to double back to drop him off at his friends. I planned on taking younger boys sledding as soon as  they got out of school, making homemade pizza and playing a couple board games or watch a movie of their choice. Spending some one-on two-time isn't as good as one-on-one time, but we take what we can get (one-on-one time as a single parent is harder to come by).

Being helpful but still leaving the responsibility up to Jordan I sent him a reminder text "call mom" when school let out (at 2:50). Giving him the benefit of doubt that he'll remember, I waited for him to call. I just wanted to know what the plan was so I would know if I could head straight to the snow hill with the other boys or to hang out to give him ride. Five minutes before practice (3:15) I called him, and I after a couple rings was sent to voice mail, I wasn't happy about it ,but understandably he could already be practicing. I figured just to play it safe the boys and I will hang out and wait for Jordan in case he does need a ride (4:00). Blessedly the other boys were being exceptionally well behaved. We had a half hour to wait before practice was over. For a while we entertained each other with how our days had gone so far and  all 3 of us singing horribly off key with the radio. I finally get a text from Jordan (at 4:25) "I think his mom's coming to pick me up". I text back that I'm already there and I'll just drive so she doesn't have to come back out in the snow. Then we wait. And wait. Other kids were now leaving practice and we're still waiting (4:45). Sensing that mom was going to lose it Jake and Joe contently played with action figures and cards without any arguing. I tried calling Jordan (4:50) and every time I got sent to voicemail after fewer and fewer rings, the more irritated I get. I tried texting him (5:00) No response. I drive around the school hoping to spot the other mom so I can get my two that are being angels to the hill. I didn't see her. Thankfully she wasn't there as I was feeling really bad that my kid was making her wait for over a half hour. Finally (5:10) I get a call from Jordan!! By now my nerves are fried, I informed him in a not very pleasant tone that I have been sitting there for over an hour waiting to find out if he had a ride. My goofy kid's response to that "Cool, I'll call (friend's name) and see if his mom will come get me." That's when I lost it! I screamed at him to get his behind outside right then. He must have finally figured out that I wasn't all too pleased with him, as he came out wearing his practice clothes and only carrying his gym bag (5:15). Believe it or not talking to his friend on the phone. I not so nicely inquired about his backpack and coat and he pushed me over the end by giving me "in a minute" hand gesture. I wasn't nice about informing him he had lost his phone and send him back into he school to get his coat and book bag. By then my blood is boiling. As he returns and hands over his lifeline to his friends, the phone beeps. His friends responding message to him "just walk to my house". He is granted 30 seconds to call and let the friend know he wouldn't be coming over and the plans for the following weekend to stay the night over there are canceled. I was fuming and along with the taking away the phone I went for where it really hurt and he lost electronics until further notice.

Bless the younger two who sat very still and quiet during my exchange with Jordan, and who managed to play nicely for the 45 minutes we had to wait for Jordan, never once asking when we were going to the hill. Although I was beyond upset with Jordan, I was extremely proud of the younger two. We all proceeded to the snow hill down the street, I was not going to let Jordan's mess up, take away from what I had promised the other boys. The whole ride there Jordan tried convincing me of how unreasonable I was for requesting to know what his plan were, even blaming "no signal" for not calling (but had no explanation for how the "signal" worked for his friend to call him). I did what had been my habit and lectured (loudly) the whole way there.

Once at the hill, Jordan hops out with the rest of us and grabs a sled. I was still too upset with him to let the whole thing go. Jordan was granted the opportunity to sit in the van (wrapped in blankets) for a half hour so he could better understand how the rest of us had felt, when we were eager to go sledding. The younger boys and I took to the hill which we had mostly to ourselves. I made sure I could keep an eye on Jordan and the van the whole time. While the boys raced down the hill, I was able to distress before Jordan joined us. After exactly 30 minutes Jordan got out of the van and was walking towards us with his snow clothes on and a snowboard in hand. I apologized to him (and the other boys) for yelling, after a bit he then apologized for not calling and we let the subject drop. We had races down the hill seeing which pairing off sent us down the hill the fastest.

We actually had a fairly decent evening after that. We ended up grabbing a pizza (as it was too late to start cooking dinner) and picnicked on my bed while watching old HVS home movies.

While most of my blow up was internal, I did lash out with my words at Jordan. I had raised my voice and I had tried to make him feel just how upset he made me. That's not how I want to raise my boys. People make mistakes and people upset you, but that does give them (or you) the right to lay into them. I knew there were better ways to handle the situation, but at the time I was too irritated to look for them. While I had yelled, I can see the progress I have made. I was able to let go the frustration and disappointment in myself for yelling and move on. In the past I would have held on to the anger both with myself and with Jordan. I would have continued to lecture Jordan every time he reached the top of hill making it a very unpleasant event for both of us. Or I would have just taken everyone home, even though the other two had one nothing wrong, made soup or cereal for dinner and hole myself up in my room.

By letting go my anger of "just how irresponsible my 13can be" and seeing it for what it was, my teenager was only thinking about himself and his wants, typical teenager behavior. I know in my heart he didn't do it to be disrespectful, even if it had felt that way at the time. My not dwelling on how "I had destroyed my kids, by yelling", we were able to salvage the night.

I know  I'm not the only parent who has lost their temper with a teenager over something in hindsight doesn't seem like it called for the tongue lashing they got. This is by far not one of my proudest parenting moments, but as you can see we are all still learning and growing, myself as much so as my boys.

I'm back on "The Orange Rhino Wagon" yesterday was day 5 of yelling less, loving more.

Christmas and the Day After

The boys were still full of energy and wide awake at midnight on Christmas Eve, so we went to their first midnight mass. It will be a couple more years before we attempt to do that again. Jacob made it 15 minutes in the service before he was out like a Christmas tree light. The older two complained most of mass about tired they were and sat through much of the service, I figured that would happen and wasn't to bothered by it. The last 10-15 minutes though they completely lost it from being overly tired and were so giddy and got the giggles. Even when I gave them "The Look" they giggled harder. It definitely was an adventure, one I don't plan to repeat for a couple years.

I was blessed with children who slept in Christmas morning due to not getting home until almost two in the morning. Joey was the first one up and waited patiently playing with his new toys from the day before for everyone to be awake. Opening gifts went smoothly with only a hiccup with the video camera, then later another one when my camera decided to invert colors. The boys didn't get everything they had hoped for, but were excited with what they did receive. Some of their favorites were a bow and arrow, Mine Craft Xbox game, iPod speakers, and a TMNT pillow (and the cat liked the new bed Santa brought for him).

We had planned on going down to the grandparents early so I could work on the laundry while we were there. We were all very involved with checking out their new stuff and get even leave the house until after 2:00 in the afternoon. Once there we exchanged gifts with my parents, my niece, my nephew, my brother, his girlfriend and her little boy. My brother is a chef and brought over a duck as part of our dinner. My poor niece has a pet duck and wasn't thrilled by the idea that one we would be eating one of it's relatives. I was surprised that eventually she did taste a small bite. Actually everyone tried at least a tiny bite, Joey and I were the most reluctant but we did it (and actually liked it). Jacob LOVED the duck and asked when Uncle would be making another one. We enjoyed the day as a family, including watching a movie all together.

Today was a day of trying out their new stuff; putting together the Lego sets and testing how difficult the video games were. Jordan spent most of the day on one video game. Joey built a carnival ride out of K'Nex and drew many picture with his Spirograph. Jacob spent majority of the day resting on the couch with a sour stomach. I also tried out some of my new things like my much loved George Foreman, I don't care much for standing in the snow to BBQ. I have been  putting the loom set Joey  got for me to good use making hats. Being not real sure what I was doing I started with a hat for our cat. He's such a good sport about dealing with all our tomfoolery. The younger two did make it outside for an hour to get some fresh air (that's our only outside time so far this week).

While Christmas is over, we are not done. We are still planning on working through our Christmas Around the World just on a smaller scale. Also part of our Winter Bucket list is up, but we're still looking for approximately another 10 items to add to our list. You can have a sneak peek  by looking under 'Our Seasonal Bucket Lists" tab.

Orange Rhino update:
I was thrilled to make it to day 12, I always stumbled on day 10. I however am back to day 2. I fully understand that the boys  being giggly in church was not their "fault", but while explaining why it wasn't acceptable I did raise my voice. I caught myself right away, but the fact remains that I did raise my voice. I also understand that my boys would not have been giggly if it wasn't  after 1:30 am and I also probably would have maintained  my lower volume if not for the time and myself also being extremely tired. I now that I can make it at least 12 days, and should be able to get there again with more ease.

Snagged Some Computer Time From The Boys

I had forgotten how hard it can be to write anything when the boys are home. It doesn't help me out any that I took away the cable, they now spend their time playing games on the computer. Even when I can snag some screen time I'm often distracted by "cool things" they want me to watch and to referee whose turn it is on the Xbox. While they are on break from school I will try to post as much as I can, but it will be sporadic at best, bare with me.

Here's what we've been up to, basically not much. Saturday my parents came out on took the boys shopping so they could buy presents for me. They also stayed to help the boys with wrapping as I was sent upstairs so not to peek. I was informed "my brothers got you some interesting gifts, but you'll love what I got you" by each of the boys. I will be very surprised I'm sure by whatever they picked out :) and I will love every gift they got for me because they put so much thought into what they thought I would like. The rest of Saturday was catechism for Jordan followed church, and relaxing with a Christmas movie later in the evening.

Sunday around here was totally a day of rest. Not one of us got out of our pajamas! We had a movie marathon day and the boys played their electronics on and off throughout the day. That's basically it. Not all that exciting, but very relaxing.





After a day of total relaxation we were a bit more energized. Grandma came out to spend some time with the older two while Jacob and I joined his den for a field trip (Yep, two days before Christmas). We visited the very exciting world of the city's water treatment facility! Actually it wasn't too bad, the guide for our tour was very good and kept the boys entertained, well as much as you can at water treat facility.




They were having so much fun!! 

Rockin' the PJ's again

After dinner we tackled making some Christmas cookies. Joey and Jacob made just about four dozen chocolate chip cookies (Santa's favorite!!). While the cookies we baking Jordan made some cornflake Christmas wreaths. After a wash of everything all three boys made some shortbread cookies, that we will be icing in the morning. I just finished making some fudge to take to our family get together tomorrow night. My house smell delicious!!


 Orange Rhino update:
Today I made it to and through day 11 without yelling!! Well, so far; I still have one who is still awake and working on my nerves but if I can hang in there until he finally falls asleep I can get past the 10 days and having to restart the challenge. It has been a trying 11 days and more than a couple times I almost had to start over. Knowing that I was so close to reaching my goal really helped me to keep it together. My manta for the past four days " Just __ more days, you're almost there".  Next mini goal to reach the 2 week mark, then a month.

It Was A Snow Day But We Didn't Even Play In The Snow

Today was an unexpected snow day, due to icy roads. The roads seemed fine to me when I drove Jordan to school, before I released school had been canceled. While I had some things I would have liked to get done while the boys were in school, it worked out well for us and we got some other things done. Thankfully I had things we could do today, because for a snow day it was too rainy to get outside and play in the snow.

Around here snow days = electronic days, so the boys were slow moving this morning. Jacob didn't even get up until 10 this morning. Once I pried the games from their hand we headed to Five Below so the boys could pick up some Christmas gifts to give. On the way there I talked with my mom who volunteered to take the boys shopping for gifts for me. It's always hard to help them shop when they already a gift for me in their baskets, they worry I might accidentally see me present. We started off with a $2 per person budget, and soon changed it to $3. Most of the things they kept choosing were five dollars and soon their budget jumped again. I want to teach them to learn to shop within their means, but just about everyone goes a little over budget around the holidays and I caved. They were for considerate of what each person might like or would use. This was a new concept for Jacob, he has a history of buying his brothers toys HE wants and after they open them and don't actually play with them, he takes them as his own.

After shopping we headed home to wrap their finds before snooping brother could discover what they got. I made sure we had enough tape, but of course we ran out of wrapping paper and had to double back to the store again.

I'm still only 3/4 done with Jacob's stocking, I got distracted with making scarves and throw blankets. The stocking they have from last year are really too young for them, Jacob refuses to use the Elmo one. I grabbed a couple felt stocking from the dollar store and some glitter from the craft store. They were given complete freedom to do what they wished on them. I only requested that they have their names on them. I plan on keeping these as a keepsake, as their writing style and artist abilities change so quickly. You can tell from Joey's that we have really been working on him writing smaller. I love that Jacob's is written on slant, and Jordan's letters are more uniformed. Jacob didn't really want to decorate the red portion on his (Glitter is for girls! *Sigh*) but decided to add dots after watching his brothers go to town making snowflakes. Oh course I made one too. I have a stocking my mom made for me when I was maybe Jacob's age, but I needed one that says Mom instead of my name. Having boys doesn't give me many opportunities to use glitter, I forgot how difficult it can be to clean it up. I believe hours there are probably still traces of glitter on and/or around our table.

We finally made our baked apples from our Fall Bucket list. They we delicious!! I have some very talented chefs, we enjoyed them with our movie tonight. We had attempted a few time the past couple of weeks and often time didn't allow for it and once someone ate our apples for snack. With technically hours to spare we complete our whole Bucket list! I'll have a wrap up of our Fall Bucket List up hopefully within the next couple of days. We have been planning our winter one but we still have tweaking to do on it before we post it, but it should be up soon.

A quick Orange Rhino update:

In spite of the full moon, I am very proud to report I completed my mini goal of not raising my voice for a whole week!!! I had been challenge plenty of time this past week also. My new goal is to finally get to and through day 11. Earlier this year when I first took the challenge I could repeated get to day 10 and blow it. My main goal is to make it 365 days straight without yelling, but I'm taking baby steps to reach it. It's a bad habit that I had got into a long time ago and one I can't wait to break (along with some other bad habits).

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Finally Ready For Christmas...I think

Earlier this week I wrote about although we have been preparing for Christmas, the decorations have been set out, we have been following Holy Heroes daily and reading a Christmas book every night; that somehow Christmas had still snuck up on me. Well, I'm proud to say, "Bring on the holiday cheer we're ready for it". Within the last two days I managed to get all my shopping done (with the exception of one gift that needs to be picked up tomorrow). Everything is bought, wrapped, tagged, and either under the tree or safely tucked away. Jacob has his book for his class's book exchange, the younger two are half way through their crafting of gifts for their teachers, fudge is in the process of being made for the scouts' party and bake sale tomorrow night. I am all caught up after getting a late start. I'm not done being in store though, the boys' still have their shopping to do.

I've gotta tell you it feels great!! I'm a planner and list maker and usually am the person who drives you nuts by having all my holiday shopping done before December (if not before Thanksgiving). To be so wrapped up in all the "extras" and lose track is just not like me. I have learned from watching my mom how to get things done while racing the clock; a very useful skill, although I never thought I would need it. I'm use to having everything done early that we can afford the time for all the "extras", this year I guess we did it kind of backwards, and I have no choice but to be okay with that.

This evening we attend a concert for two of our neighbors who have been working very hard on learning to play the violin. We were a bit late getting there after picking Jordan up from practice, but we able to hear them play their last song. We stayed for the rest of the concert and listened to some of the older kids play as well as their middle school choir. All the different groups played very well and the choir was also great and entertaining to watch. Thank you again for inviting us to watch you play :) I'm proud of both of you <3

After we got home from the concert the boys' Godparents stopped by to exchange gifts with them, as they will be out of town for Christmas. My boys' are very excited about and love what they received. We are very blessed to have such loving, caring Godparents in our lives.

So, with the first gift exchanged (and mine finally bought) let the fun of the holiday continue, without any more stressing on my part. I'm finally ready for Christmas....I think.

Orange Rhino update: Made it to and through day 5! TOOT! TOOT! (< Tooting my own horn) Almost to my mini goal of one straight week without raising my voice.

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Let It Snow!!

Sunday night which means another late post because we spent the day visiting with Grandma and Papa. Followed by our last dash to get everything ready for Monday morning and school. With lunches and snacks packed, dress clothes pressed for Jordan's game and double checking that all folders and forms have been signed; I finally get to take a breath and reflect on our day. Realizing that in my hurry to get us home so we weren't rushing about, that I had left my purse (with Jacob's book report in it) at Grandma's, and still ended up rushing everyone off to bed.

No mass today, Saturday service seems to work better for us. So we enjoyed a slow start to our day not heading down to tackle the laundry until after lunch. I love spending time at my parents house and using their fenced in yard. I know I can send the boys out back to play and not have to worry about what other people may approach them. Before the boys could jump in all the snow that had fallen the past two day we had some running around to do. Joey snapped one of the buckles on his snow pants yesterday while taking them off, and Jordan had borrowed a pair of Joey's. After a quick run to the thrift store Jordan now has to pairs of snow pants (without the little kid shoulder straps) and Joey got a pair as well to use as a spare. The best find was a pair of pink snow pants that fit ME!! I haven't owned snow pants since I was Jordan's age or younger. My thinking was if I wasn't so cold every time we went out to play in the snow, the kids could stay longer.

With everyone having appropriate snow attire we went out to play. Well actually I went out and shoveled and the boys played. I did however make a few snow angels with Joey knowing my jeans weren't going to get wet. The snow was still to fluffy to make a fort or decent snow ball, so the piled up snow that would later need for their fort. Jordan had started another bonfire, because well because Papa said he could. I believe the boys did stand by it for small bits of time to warm up a little. Being so toasty warm in my new snow pants we were outside for 3 hours. That's the longest stretch of time we've had since middle of November, bringing our year to date total of outside hours to 141.

The boys had hoped to visit a nearby snow hill either yesterday or today. We could have gone yesterday, but I had gotten confused and thought Jordan had catechism this week. Then today we were at the grandparents. There are a few hills not far from them, but I had too much laundry to tend to that we just didn't have enough time this weekend.

On a side note, I have discovered why every other week it seems like we have double our normal laundry. I have one sweet teenager who likes to hoard his dirty laundry in his room until he has absolutely nothing else to wear. Not sure why that is, as he passes the laundry basket every time he enters or exits his room; the teenage mind, I just don't understand it sometimes.

My Orange Rhino update: There has been some really good day, some close calls, and some days I lost control of my mouth. I did reach and pass my last set goal of 5 days before I ended up having to start over. I'm still working on it, I'm back at 3 days without raising my voice at my children. The freezer has taken the brunt of my not so nice tones, so my words were not directed towards the boys. I have been working on while the holidays may be stressing me out, the kids are excited and not to take away from their joy of a wonderful season. The snow will be an added blessing not only to get them outside playing, but also to burn off some of their energy (and mine) which helps me not feel the need to raise my voice.

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Living Like an Orange Rhino

T'was the night before my son's first game. Every creature was scurrying about. All were trying to get tomorrows school clothes laid out. Every child should have been in bed; and Mama was trying to remember her Orange Rhino and not lose her head.

This night has the makings for a really bad bedtime story and I'm sure if I wasn't so frazzled I could finish the whole thing in rhyme. This is how our evening after 5 days of relaxing has been going. The whole 5 days has been great, until we left Grandma's house late. This weeks laundry stacks were larger than usual (How my boys had gone through more clothes lounging around than they do going to school all week is beyond me.) so not everything had time to be dried and we left later than I would have otherwise liked. Okay not sounding too bad yet, it happens and we've managed through it.

The younger two were to be getting ready for bed and preparing for school the next day while I unloaded the van. Jordan was to bring me his dress clothes so they could be pressed. I quickly ran the last load up to the dryer at our laundry room (were I was eyed by a skunk about 6 feet away from me), to return to the two younger ones laughing and chasing each other through the house half in pajamas (honest I was literally gone for 3 minutes) and the cat following me through the house meowing at me for who knows why. Jordan brings me a pair of dress pants that are a size too small with 4 dress shirts he claims barely reach his wrists and every brightly color tie he owns. I like to plan ahead and had him look early last week to make sure he had dress clothes that would fit; he confirmed that he did and he was all set for game day. Now he tells me this is all he has, mind you its 9:30 on a Sunday night. Being determined that I know he has clothes that fit after all I had just bought them a few months back. Hallelujah! There in the back of the closet is his dress slacks. Okay the shirts barely fit but aren't that short and will get him through the day (this kid grows like a weed). The ties on the other hand would not match any of the shirts by anyone stretched imagination, so off to his little brothers room to find a tie. We find a tie although he is not happy about it being "a little kid's tie" opposed to having to tie it yourself; but it matches and is long enough. That's one crisis averted; and I did not yell :)

Next I ask about his shorts that need to be red per the school colors that he has reassured me for the past couple weeks that he does in fact own a pair, so there was no need to go shopping. I asked for him to get them out and have them with his school things so he wouldn't forget them. He was not able to locate them in his drawer where he thought they would be and had suggested they may be in his gym locker at school. Now I have not seen any red shorts for any of my boys since the beginning of September. I inquired how they "may be" in his locker, doesn't he know. I asked if he worn them within the past few weeks, his reply "Um, NO". So why would they be in the locker if he has not taken them to school? "Um, I don't know. They're not in my drawer. I thought I had a pair" UGH!! So then it was back into his brother's room to go through the box of off season clothes and finally finding one single pair of red shorts that just reach his knees in with Joeys' summer clothes. Someone from up above sure is looking out for us tonight. Second crisis averted, and still I did not yell. Although I could feel it right there waiting to be released upon my disorganized child.

Next was to wrangle the now dressed for bed younger two boys. While my attention had been on Jordan they thought it was a great time to pick a game to spread out on the floor and start playing. While I cleaned up the game one was sent to brush his teeth while the other laid out his school clothes. As luck would have it, tonight the toothpaste was empty and instead of saying anything he just hung out in the bathroom styling his hair. Toothpaste tube replaced and now two little guys fighting over the sink at the same time. *Sigh* Everyone is finally dressed and brushed and lead into bed but wait...the child with the very stylish hair never laid out his clothes. I volunteered to pick his outfit, but he was not going to allow that after all I had told them they were responsible for picking their own clothes. After a couple really mismatched choices he came up with one that matched close enough that I would allow it for wear at school. Third crisis (although it was a mini one) averted, and still I did not yell.  I could feel the yell bubbling over ready to fly out of my mouth from my building frustration this evening, but I controlled it.

After minimal trips to the bathroom for needs that were "forgotten" before being tucked in, I am proud to say all were sound asleep and finally prepared for their days tomorrow. I headed over to the Orange Rhino Facebook page to toot my horn for keeping my cool when before I would have let my angry words fly without a second thought. TOOT! TOOT!

This morning we wake feeling like we can take on the day. Jordan finally makes his way to me 10 minutes before we are to leave the house and says I think these pants are too short too. Sure enough about 2 inches of his ankles are showing. He stays to watch his still slumbering little brothers and finish gathering together what he forgot to last night, as I run to the store down the street. A was very blessed that there was one single pair of kaki pants in his size. I race back so he can change and get him off to school late. Not exactly how I planned my too early on a Monday morning after a long weekend. That makes another crisis averted and I still have not yelled (although we definitely had a nice talk the whole way to school). Just to play it safe, I hunted down another couple pairs of red basketball shorts at the thrift store after taking the other two to school and will drop off a pair with him at school; the way things have been going the ones he took to school will end up being too short.

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