Dear Single Moms,
Father's Day is not about you! Its not about you pulling double duty or having to pick up the slack. I use to buy into the "But I have to be Mom and Dad", but do I really need to consider myself as both parents? I can't think of a single thing that my boys' fathers could have taught them that I couldn't as their mother, some things were trickier, like standing to pee and puberty. As a single mom I am enough.
I am enough to show my children how to treat a lady by the way I allow or do not allow any man to speak or treat me. I taught them what being a man was, as well as their absent fathers inadvertently taught them how a man does not act. I have taught them to work hard and take responsibility for their actions
I am enough to have taught them to respect people, to be fair, to actually listen to other people, see different points of view (if if they don't agree with them), to stand up for what they believe in. To never shake hands while sitting down, and that a handshake should be firm and to look into the persons's eyes. I taught them what our family's values and a love for God.
As a women who is not physically coordinated when it comes to sports, I did teach them well enough to get by with throwing a ball, playing catch, 2-hand touch football. I sat through Superbowl games and attended Piston games. I've learned the rules and practiced the sports they were involved in. I have roughhoused with them and wrestled with them. When they were younger I tossed them "too high" in the air.
They have taught me how to play their favorite video games and I'm pretty good at shooting aliens now. I have taught them to encourage others and how to be a good loser.
I have listened to borderline inappropriate jokes, taught them how to belch, how to burp the alphabet. I have congratulated them on loud or extremely smelly farts.
I taught them how to build a bonfire and how to barbecue, I taught them to appreciate nature, to look for bugs, how to proper pick up a snake, and how to fish.
I have worked side by side with them on woodworking projects, gardening, and miscellaneous manual labor actives. I have taught them home repairs, how to put a chain back on their bike.
I have encourages them to be fearless and take a chance, to push themselves just a little bit further then they thought they could go.
I have gotten on them about grades. I've dealt with the misbehavior and followed through with discipline.
I have told them countless times "atta boy", "I'm proud of you", and "I love you"
I have done exactly the same thing I would do if their fathers were involved, because I am their mother and that's what I do.
Don't include yourself in Father's Day because you are a mother doing just what a mother does. Its not double duty, its just taking care of your responsibilities; raising children doesn't split responsibilities between parents,
*Father's Day also isn't a day to call out the "dead beats", if they're not involved blasting them on social media isn't going to make them suddenly step up. You're kiddos have (or will learn) who is there for them when they need someone.
If you feel the need to blast something on social media, shout out to all male role models who have been in your child's life- even if they played a small role.
